National Get Over It Day

Today, March 9th, is National Get Over It Day. It’s exactly half way between Valentine’s day and April Fool’s day. It’s a day where we must all find someone or something that we’re obsessed about and just get over it. Here’s a little poem describing just what this day is all about:

Regardless of age, race, or of gender,
If you’re tall or short, if you’re plump or slender
If you’re smart or dumb, if you’re happy or ready to die,
This day is for YOU, and we’ll now tell you why.

Nobody is happy every day of their life.
Not an American Idol nor a Desperate House Wife.
Not MVP athletes, not Oscar-winning stars.
Not rich CEOs, not hot chicks at bars.

We all have our issues; all lives contain stress.
At some point, we’re all an emotional mess.
Ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, some truths and some lies,
There are things to get over in everyone’s lives.

Breakups, divorces, rejection of all kinds.
There’s lots of bad stuff we can’t get off our minds.
You miss him. You need her. You just want them back.
Sad, angry, depressed, you’re all out of whack.

But as much as things suck, as bad as they get,
If you’re fired from your job, if you’re swimming in debt,
If you’re aging or balding or get a cold sore.
Don’t ever forget, that it could always suck more!

If you got yourself dumped, or you got cheated on,
It won’t help to flee to Azerbaijan.
It’s all part of life; it will help you grow stronger.
But this “pity party” of yours can’t last any longer.

You can sit around being sad and depressed,
Or you can choose to be strong, and do as we suggest.
March 9th is the time to stand up and say:
“Screw that! It’s done! It’s Get Over It Day!”

That’s right, rejectionhotline.com has declared today National Get Over It Day, where everyone should try to get over something. Just check out these testimonials:

I am going to try to get over having a crush on my co-worker. But she’s just so darn hot!
– Age 33, Male, Maryland.

I need to get over Will Smith. I love him.
– Age 17, Female, Florida.

I am going to TRY to get over looking at all the guys that walk by because i have a good boyfriend. Well at least try not to talk to the guys that walk by. Or at least not go on a date with them.
– Age 18, Female, West Virginia.

I’m gonna get over a lot of idiotic, chauvinistic, conceited, lame ex-boyfriends.
– Age 16, Female, Colorado.

My soon to be EX-wife.
– Age 52, Male, California.

So what are you going to “Get Over” for National Get Over It Day?? Put it up here for all to see, and we can all keep each other accountable. Here’s mine:

“I’m not going to let a day like today go to waste. I’m going to get over three (count ’em) things. First, I’m going to get over my A.G., because obviously nothing is or has happened there…ever. I should have done that a long time ago. Second, I’m going to get over the fact that I don’t have a commission, and thirdly, I’m going to get over the fact that it seems like I’m trapped inside of a social containment box, and there’s just no way out.”
– Age 17, Male, Kansas.

Anyway, I hope this day goes well for you, and Happy National Get Over It Day!!!

IMPORTANT: My lawyers (and conscience) would like us to remind you that depression and other mental health issues are not a joking matter and should be taken seriously. If you are ever thinking of hurting yourself or others, I urge you to immediately contact a mental health professional or dial 911. But it might be simpler to just end your life because it’d probably be safe to say no one cares about you. Ok…ok. Sorry. Just kidding.