Let’s Try Again

I wrote something earlier. It was bitter – a decisively depressing read. I often don’t realize that I do this unless I go back and read my posts after waiting for several hours to let the dust that was stirred up from my frantic typing nestle back down between the keys of my keyboard. I usually don’t re-read my writings. I find I get enough of myself simply by being around me on a day to day basis. Tonight was different, however. Not because I felt distant from my feelings and needed to be enlightened on what I was going through, but because I was being swallowed up by my own depression, and thought that rather than fighting it, I’d prefer to let it envelope me by reading about it over and over again. I often deceive myself into thinking that’d be a desirable condition.

After observing my grievances that I had so dutifully recorded earlier today, I finally realized that that’s not how I want to represent myself. I’d prefer to not live that way either. So I apologize if you happened to catch it before I wrote this replacement.

I also apologize for being silent the past week or so. Lots of wonderful things are happening in my life, and honestly, I don’t think that I can imagine a better overall experience than my current state. I have my down moments, but…man!! Life!!!! I don’t really know how to explain what I’m thinking and feeling. But I do know that not appreciating and enjoying my life would be selling myself short.

And I certainly don’t want to do that.