Halloween

So I haven’t been trick-or-treating in years. I thought I was too old. How wrong I was.

Halloween, at college, is not about whether or not you think the holiday is ethical. It’s not about horror movies or ghosts or whether or not any of it is edifying. It’s about coming together as a campus. And then collectively raiding the surrounding neighboorhoods by dressing up like retards, prancing about in the night, and, most importantly, swiping (er…asking for) free candy.

Yes, I dressed up as RetroMan and gathered my (or some poor little kid’s) share of candy from all the locals. To this day I still feel that there is no feeling in the entire world that is better than coming back to your room and pouring out all the candy onto a table and just kind of staring at it for a while. It just gives you such a feeling of accomplishment!

It was kind of funny at some of the houses, where we’d all be lined up behind three or four kids a third of my height. The lady at the door is standing there spouting “How Cute!” over and over as she smiles superficially and places three or four tootsie-rolls in a three year old’s pumpkin bag when, all of the sudden, she looks up to see a guy a foot taller than herself with afro hair and aviator sunglasses holding out a rootbeer bottle for her to cram the tootsie-roll into. She drops (or pushes, rather) the candy in, saying nothing but nevertheless expressing her thoughts without difficulty through her confused (and almost condescending) stare.

Another score for me.