“Well…you’re not as funny as you used to be…”
— Lila Bayer c. August 3rd, 2006
What has happened to me? I used to be such an entertainer!! That’s partially why I’m interested in broadcasting. I mean, I like journalism and stuff…but a lot of it is really just entertaining people. I used to thrive off of making people laugh. Now…I guess I just don’t really thrive. I think the reason I’m not as funny anymore has partially to do with my heels and partially due to nerd rope candy. I’d explain, but it’d take up several pages and a lot of your time. So to sum up, I’ve reduced that explanation by only using certain ‘key words’ from the sentences I wrote.
Two-fold. Heels. Screetching. Gross. Pain. Toes. Exertion. Thief. Antique Store. Exhaustion. Bowling. Lack. Entertaining. Lumberjack. Chimichanga. Rocks. None. Sleep. Never. Funny. Nerds. Me. Glasses. Dork. Always. Other. Candy. Tastes. Sweet. Distracts. Focusing. Lake. Squishy. Yum! What? Missed. Total. Space. Soap. Lack. Exertion. Dull.
That was much shorter, and also got the point across well, I think. If you ever feel the need for more in depth information…let me know…maybe I’ll type out the whole thing someday.
Allow me to pull an Amandria and change the subject. Tee hee. ;)
Story time.
A lady walked into Office Depot today looking for a five hundred dollar computer. She left with a $1049 HP Pavilion computer tower, a $399 Sony 21″ Flatscreen Monitor, a $149 HP Photosmart Printer, a $19 surge protector, a $22 USB Printer cable, an extra black and color cartridge totalling $25, and a $194 protection plan to cover it all. The total for all of that, for those of you that are bad at math/don’t care how much it cost/are completely disinterested in what I’m talking about is approximately $1850. Add on tax and you’re around two grand – so only a little over three times as much as she intended to spend. She managed this with very little prodding on my part, and it was all ok because she financed it using our Office Depot Personal Credit Program!! Yayy!!
The moral of this story, by the way, is to encourage you to spend two grand on a computer that you’ll only be using to check your e-mail and then finance all of it. Unless of course, you don’t want to go thorugh the trouble, in which case you could essentially accomplish the same end result by stuffing twelve hundred dollars in your toilet and flushing.
Sheesh. I’m not sure which one would be more messy.
You know what would be fun? We could take those key words and construct a paragraph out of it and kind of guess what you had in mind. I’ll start:
My shoe size has increased two-fold. That means that I need to buy new heels. I know what you’re thinking that it’s wierd that a guy wears heals. Hey, at least I’m not screetching in delight over the fact. I really find it kind of gross myself. Plus, heals cause a lot of pain in my toes. Only with great exertion can I put my feet into them. Anyway, a thief walked into the antique store, but the funny part is that he didn’t steal anything. He collapsed from the heat exhaustion before he had a chance. I went bowling yesterday. It was fun. I had a lack of a good score, but it was entertaining all the same. Amandria was telling me a story about how a lumberjack came into her work and ordered a chimichanga and a margarita on the rocks. Then, the amount of money that he left for a tip was none. That was wierd. I want to go to sleep, but with my busy schedule, that will never happen. You know what’s funny? Nerds are funny. Do you know who the biggest nerd of all is? Me. You should see me with my glasses. I look like such a dork. It’s always fun to look at other pairs of glasses, but I’d rather spend my money on something cool like candy. Who hates candy? It tastes sweet. It’s great beacuse it distracts you from all of life’s problems so that you stop focusing on how awful life is. I’ll often just go down to the lake and eat gummy worms. I like my gummy worms squishy. Yum! What was that? I missed my favourite TV show. Oh well, that’s a total of thirty minutes spent doing something better. Space is facinating. Don’t eat soap. I lack a set of kitchen utensels. Exertion can be good. My pocket knife is dull.
Am I close?
No… a freeverse poem.
The tragedy of life is two-fold
Ansen digs in his heels,
Screetching.
When things get gross,
Ansen’s pain decreases
And DP steps on his toes.
Exertion is key when you’re
A thief. Like Ansen.
One more antique
From an unsuspecting store
Will lead to exhaustion
Similar to bowling.
Ansen might lack something
He’s not as entertaining?
It’s hard when you’re a lumberjack.
Have another chimichanga, football fans,
It’ll kill you quicker than rocks.
Second to none,
Ansen will never sleep.
Never.
It’s not funny when wer’e all
Nerds like Ansen. With glasses.
A dork, always.
What’s the other thing?
It’s candy.
Ansen’s mother tastes sweet.
It discracts from his mother focusing on
The fish, and the birds, the lake
The squishy aliens.
Yum! Aliens… what?
You probably missed that
Because you’re a total loser.
Aliens live in space, and…
Soap.
There’s still a lack
Ansen needs the exertion
His life is…
Dull.
Funny. Nerds. Me. Glasses. Dork. Always. Other. Candy. Tastes. Sweet. Distracts. Focusing. Lake. Squishy. Yum! What? Missed. Total. Space. Soap. Lack. Exertion. Dull.
Oops… I didn’t mean to leave the stuff I copied and pasted in there. Durrdeedurr.
Teehee… Dan is sooo silly.
I’d like to hear the long version… ’cause I don’t know what you’re talking about… but it’s ok. I smile because I have no idea what’s going on. Like this –> :)
I have a tendancy to think that you’re pretty funny… and entertaining… and it’s probably due to the heels and nerds candy rope.
LOL. You and your friends crack me up. I have been having kind of a hard time lately because I notice that after I have gotten to know people a little bit, I can have them rolling just taking the bits and pieces that I know of them and the things that we have around us… But if I try it with people that I’m just meeting they find me incredibly weird… Or gay. It’s a good time, really. Maybe you are just stuck in a rut where you care more about the poeple that you constantly have around you and you aren’t as concerned with performing for them, making them laugh, you’d rather interact with them in a different way. Who knows? Maybe broadcasting and entertaining is still there, just not during the summer where you are really nailed into a routine (with two jobs… you psycho).
Hmmmm…I have a feeling the last sentence of your comment came from personal experience.