Well, I still haven’t finished posting from Christmas, but don’t worry, I will. I just have an important post that has to be made first: Passion 2013
We left at 12:15am on Monday, drove 14 hours in the fog, rain, snow, wind, etc. But our bus driver, Mike, was a trooper! 
It was an amazing feat to see how they organized 60,000 people. Not only did we have to assemble in the Georgia Dome for 8 different “main sessions” we also had to move from the main session to small groupings called Community groups and back. In addition to all of this, they managed to feed 60,000 in a mear 25 minutes. Honestly, whoever is the organizer for this, you’re simply amazing! 
Every Passion conference has a cause. This year it was the End It Movement. Did you know there are currently 27 million slaves in the world? More than have ever been at any point in history. It’s unfathomable. As the endcap of the week and a kick off 60,000 people gathered for a candle-light vigil to “shine a light on slavery.” We are in it to end it.
But more personally, God moved in my own heart. This past year has been an easy and a hard year. It’s been easy in that little faith has been required of me. I wasn’t being challeneged challenging myself spiritually. It was also hard in that I’m learning to be a mom, to juggle little ones needs with our own, figure out how to do laundry, wash dishes vacuum and scrub showers all at the same time. All of this resulted in a rather numb and task focused heart. But God breathed new life into these dead bones.
First, He taught me to pray “I believe, help me in my unbelief.” Ansen put it best, it’s a very base level and very high level doubt all at the same time. Does God exist? If he does, then all of this (meaning Christianity, the Bible, the loud praise and goofy dancing on the stage at passion) makes sense. If not, it’s all hokey. I believe God exists. I do. But sometimes, I don’t live like it. I need His help. That’s when the next lesson came in.
In Genesis, when Eve sins for the first time, the tempting line is, “Did God really say…” It’s doubting His promises. How would Eve be able to verify what God really said? Obviously, her memory didn’t serve her very well. She didn’t have the Bible to go back and look at, but she had the very Creator right there in the garden with her. Maybe she could have asked! How can I verify? Well, trusting in my own ability to remember isn’t working so well. I need to read them fresh every day. I need to be in His word, read what He says, soak in those promises. That’s the only way to fight this temptation to doubt.
After this, I started feeling guilty about the trying harder and then the apathy, but also, the sense of easiness from this last year. I didn’t need use faith to get me through each day like I have in other seasons of my life. I wasn’t drowning. On a daily basis, I was getting by. As a whole, things were going great. We’re at a church we love. We have jobs we love. Our daughter is beautiful and healthy. I didn’t feel a need to rely on God. However, once I got the other stuff straight (again… sheesh, how many times does it take?) God says, “don’t feel guilty, I gave that to you. I gave you a season of rest. I gave you time to enjoy what I’ve given you. ” It was quite a relief. I’m definitely not off the hook for my lack of faith, but the easiness of the season was a gift. But, of course it didn’t stop there. He said, “I’ve given you this season of rest, but now, it’s time to get to work.”
So to work, it is. Not in a striving, I’m going to do better and try harder sense (been there, tried that), but in an abiding in Christ and a relying on His word sense; a consciousness and awareness of Him and where He’s moving. It’s really about paying attention and being sensitive. Not getting so focused on my own tasks that I miss something important. It’s as simple and complex as that. That’s my take away.
Did you go to Passion? Or watch the live stream? Or maybe God’s just speaking in your life right now? What’s He saying? I’d love for you to share.